HONESTY HERE: Getting burnt out on the blog challenge.....but fighting through. Only seven days left. What would it say about my character if I didn't finish what I started, right?
OOPS! I think I answered today's question yesterday!
So now I will answer yesterday's correctly....How do I HANDLE them...emotionally?
I don't know. There is no way to "handle" you emotions....really. You can control the outward expressions of your emotions, but you can't control how, when, or what emotion you will be feeling from day to day...moment to moment.
I'd like to think that from the outside looking in...the others around me think I am handling things beautifully. I say this, because a few of them have told me so.
But from the inside, looking out?
I am trapped.
Trapped in my glass house. I am barred from leaving my threshold by the grief that keeps the door sealed. I can look out and see things clearly on some days. The sun comes in and warms my house and my heart. Some days, the fog is blocking my view. I can't see beyond the pain.
Those around me can sometimes see into me very clearly, but most times, the tinting on the window just reflects back what they are feeling. If they are happy, they see happy. If they are sad, they see sad.
Every once in a while the grief opens the doors and allows them to visit. But usually it is only for a short time. They are guided back to the porch to enjoy the sunshine.
I cannot predict what kind of day it will be. It could start with a sunny morning and end in the stormiest of nights. It could gently rain all day. It could be a raging hurricane with no end in sight.
So how do I handle the days.
I can't.
I don't know exactly what the weather will be like.
This morning?
It looks like a clear day with no clouds in sight.
