Monday, January 31, 2011

What Love Really Means


A special lady, Mattie, that I have "met" through the internet after the loss of Jamie has an awesome blog called Beauty Will Rise.  I wish my blog was as AWESOME as hers! She is an amazing person!  I will never forget when we exchanged gifts for Christmas 2009 with some moms that had lost their November babies.  She sent me some very special gifts, all which were perfect.  I wish I had thought to take pictures!

  My heart was very raw at the time, and her gifts helped put a healing ointment on that wound.  I will never forget her baby girl...Shyla Joy.  Without the loss of our precious girls, both due in the month of November that year, we would never have crossed paths.

I was so thrilled when I heard the news that she was carrying her rainbow baby.  I was terrified when she told us the news that little Jakin's heart was not working as well as it should be.  I literally sobbed when I heard the news that his little heart had stopped.  I even posted here that day about her loss and how it impacted my outlook on Baby Button.  I had thought that I could distance myself from pain again.  The loss of Jakin proved to me that it was impossible.  I could love again, and have my heart broken again......

To my point!!! Mattie contacted a few of us momma's to blog about What Love Really Means for the month of February.  If you follow her blog, you will see me on a certain day...*wink, wink*...hmmm....maybe, say Feb 6th?

I am so excited!  I hope I live up to all of these other amazing bloggers out there!!!!

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Thank you family and friends!


Heavenly Father, the beauty and dignity of human life was the crowning of your creation. You further ennobled that life when your Son became one with us in his incarnation.
Help us to realize the sacredness of human life and to respect it from the moment of conception until the last moment at death. Give us courage to speak with truth and love and with conviction in defense of life.
 Help us to extend the gentle hand of mercy and forgiveness to those who do not reverence your gift of life.
To all, grant pardon for the times we have failed to be grateful for your precious gift of life or to respect it in others.

I had a totally different intention for today's blog....but after reading the news yesterday and today....I really needed to say that I am so thankful for the support and care I recieved when I decided to carry Jamie.  I am extremely disgusted with the so-called abortion doctor in Pennsylvania that didn't consider those babies as human beings. 

I have never used Jamie Lynn as a platform for the respect life movement, and I probably never will. 
She is mine and I don't share very well (ask my husband...he will concur).

However, at this moment, I am feeling so blessed to carry that darling baby and I am thankful that my husband, family, and friends supported my decision.  I am also grateful for the love and care she was given by my doctor and nurses when she arrived and then shortly left us. 

So thank you to all those who are always there for me.

As for the cross....when I am not so upset....I will definitely share how I made it! 

 So simple!!!!!

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Butterfly Kisses

Jamie's Quilt. 

 When she was born, we were enthralled with the perfection of her feet.   We could not keep our hands off of them.   We used her quilt for some of her NILMDTS photos.  She looked just precious on that quilt.  A few months later, I told hubby that I was going to embroider her name and her footprints on her quilt.  I was nervous, but he thought it was a good idea. 

 I chose brown to go with the quilt, but now wish I had gone with either a bolder larger font or a different color.  The background is so busy. 
But doesn't matter....I love it.

So this leads to my charity:


I have finally perfected the digitizing and embroidery process.

Any baby loss momma that has a blanket or quilt that they would like to have their baby's name and footprints or handprints on....please contact me.
Yes....the footprints are the EXACT size of her actual footprints that were done at the hospital.  All I need is a scanned copy of your baby's or babies' footprints/handprints and the measurement (length and width) so that I can digitize them for my embroidery machine.
This is all free of charge.  I have already received a bit of funding to get this off the ground!
If you are currently carrying a baby with a very poor or fatal diagnosis and would like your baby's name on their blanket for their birth day, I can also help you out.  I have done a few already....and one of them actually defied his odds!  He is quite the healthy infant.  Boy, were those doctors wrong!

 If you are interested please fill out this FORM HERE or contact me on my FB page!

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

If You Believe

One of the MANY pictures I get sent from other babyloss mommas.....for her Name Gallery!

If You Believe
Mary Thompson
(dedicated to Lori and Frank Walsh, and baby Joseph)

He will guide you on your way-if you believe.
Roll the clouds of doubt away-if you believe.
God will hold you in His arms, give you hope when hope is gone.
(He will give you all you need-if you believe.)

He will calm you deepest fears-if you believe.
And dry up all your tears-if you believe.
God will take your broken heart,
In His hands the healing starts,
Then His peace you will receive-if you believe.

For God will never leave your side.
That’s a promise He provides.
He will see you through everything you do-
with His love.

You will feel Him call your name- if you believe.
And you’ll never be the same-if you believe.
God will fill your very soul with the grace
to make you whole.
And His love will set you free-if you believe.

A song written by a beautiful woman.
  For the past 4 years, we have gotten up Christmas morning and gone to Mass as soon as the gifts are open.  We try to make the Mass that we think we "know" that Mary and her family sing.  Just four of them and a guitar.  Every year, I cry.

But last year, I cried even harder.  I don't know how much Mary knows how much it meant to us for her to sing at Jamie Lynn's funeral.  It was comforting to know that she had been there for her own family member that went through a similar experience.  It is a burden and a blessing to carry a child knowing that your first Hello will also be your Goodbye. 

I was driving home today from work and this song (written above) came into my head.
I confess, I was tired.  I was tired of everyone asking if I was just ready to have this baby.
I answered, truthfully...honestly...I am great!  I am not uncomfortable at all.

  What I didn't say?  Button can stay in there as long as he/she needs. 
I just want Button to be matter what it takes.

I need to remember that I need to "believe"
....because that is all that counts in the end.