Monday, March 1, 2010

Marriage: A Fragile Union

It occurred to me yesterday that marriage is such a fragile union.  No matter how strong the relationship, it seems to be so easily broken. 

Yesterday, we found out news that some friends of ours are getting a divorce.  We did not see it coming.  This was a couple that would constantly show public affection, not the inappropriate kind, but the kind that you sometimes wish you had more of with your own spouse.  We don't know the details, but they have three beautiful, young boys and for whatever reason, are going to tear their family apart. 

I am stunned.  I am confused.  I am concerned.  What does it take to break a family apart?  What happens to a couple that they can sit their children down and say, "Your dad and I can't live together anymore". 

I don't pretend to be naive.  I am a product of a young divorced couple.  I can say I have survived, but I survived without my father being a part of my life.  The marriage was so broken, that the aftermath caused my father to walk away.  He felt that it was better to let my mom have peace then to have the constant "fight" they had even unmarried.

I look at my husband of 13 years.  I am scared.  Our oldest son turned 13 yesterday.  We have a teenage son!  I look at my three sons and cannot fathom what would crush this family.  I have always said that I would leave my husband if he ever cheated on me or hurt me. But yesterday, I even dared to tell my husband that if he had an adulterous affair, that I would probably be broken, but wouldn't be able to leave him.  I love him that much.  I need him that much.

He shook his head, walked out of the room.  Then he returned, with Jamie Lynn's tiny heart urn with her ashes, cradled in his hands, and said, "This is why I will never do something to hurt you or ever leave you." 

I think I fell in love with him all over again.

1 comment:

Roni said...

Heidi...as I sit here with tears streaming down my face I can honestly tell you that over time I will read every post on this blog. It is beyond beautiful.

While the kids continued to sleep this morning I read, I learned, I cried and I got so blessed. Thank goodness for this little iPad I threw in my purse at the last minute! Now I can personally tell you that before you head back to Texas and I head back to New York.

I SO love your blog.